guysss.

so excited for august and to get back on the road (europe in 20 days!) at the end of june i really needed a break. since 2013 i had been climbing a great big ole entrepreneurship mountain working to make a name for myself. but this summer i hit a plateau. and plateaus can actually feel worse than the climb. too many things floating my way that were draining my creative spirit. i started to dread getting out of bed in the morning. nothing was exciting me anymore. once i finally figured out that I just wasn't getting what i needed out of my business, i knew that july would be a month that I would take mostly for me to regroup. I had to figure out some things, and decide how I was going to start climbing to the next level. i reached out to kayleigh, who I worked with on a previous commercial shoot and she was game for shooting some personal work with me. somewhere along the path of starting my business, i forgot that what i want is still important. actually i didn't forget, it just somehow got put on a back burner. creatively and professionally i was feeling suffocated. Then I remembered personal work helps reignite fires that can often simmer as you get bogged down in things that smolder your fire rather than add fuel to it. 

kayleigh and i shot for a few hours and after we were done i was actually excited to look at what we made. for the first time in months i stayed up past midnight editing. that was missing. the excitement. for what i was actually creating. as july closes out, i am prepared to implement everything that i took the time to develop over the past few weeks. i even (timing un-planned) had a photographers retreat/workshop in colorado that solidified most of the things i was already thinking about. that was the weirdest coincidence, as i had booked my trip long before my burn out crashed down on me. but july, my shoot with kayleigh, talks with solopreneur friends, my trip to colorado, all of these things were needed and were on time. No coincidences here!

im happy to be a little refreshed. to have a clearer outlook on my original vision of what i want and how to get it. im happy that i have changed some of my processes to suit me better without feeling bad about that, because believe it or not my artistry is not all about other people and only what they want; what I want is allowed to be included in my own business too as shocking as that may sound.

giving energy to the things and people that smolder your fire is quite draining. like it makes you hate life. and i don't wanna hate this! id first stop sharing my gift with others than keep sharing and resent that i shared it.

for the record

i want to shoot specific types of weddings, a certain type of client and commercial work that matches my style. I do not want to shoot everythang in the world. Im not for everybody, and everybody is not for me. like any other creative. i want to do bigger things. and more projects that require travel. i want to make enough money to feed my dog. and i only want to work with people that think of me as more than just: girl with camera. im a photographer, an artist, a creative director, and 3/4 unicorn on my moms side. and i ain't sorry.

in case you're ever feeling suffocated, burned out, or just down right depressed with a turn your creative field has taken you, this exercise may help:

sit down. alone. clear your mind. and now ask yourself some questions. what are you missing? what are you doing that you don't like? when you first envisioned your business, what did you see yourself doing? are you doing it yet? what are some factors causing your process to not run in a way that is best for you? what changes to your process need to be implemented for you to get back on track? do you need help? who should you call on? how soon can you implement this amazing new process? and how will you let people know that things are different around here?

now gag over kayleigh.

and cheers to the right side of the tracks.